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(to the tune of "The Wild Rover")
Well I've been an ould cacher for almost a year,
And I've done all the caches for miles around here.
I've found them in forests, I've found them in rocks,
And one on Slieve League that was full of old socks.
And it's no, nay, never...
(dum-dum-dum-dum)
No nay never, no more,
Will I be an ould cacher
No never, no more.
I went into guest house near Ballylegat,
And I told the landlady my batteries were flat.
She said “You're a cacher – we don't want your like,
You can pack up your bags and get back on yer bike.”
(So it's no, nay, never...etc)
At a cache up near Malin I walked on the beach,
But the tide was so high it was right out of reach.
I slipped on some rocks and took several falls
Right into the sea – and was soaked to the b_ _ls.
(And it's no, nay, never...etc)
My garden's a jungle, my car is all bent,
I'm seventeen weeks in arrears with the rent,
There's no arse in my trousers, no sole to my shoe -
And I've only another two hundred to do.
(But it's no, nay, never...etc)