MIS:

New portal design - totally brilliant, is that! Passwords - fantastic!
Webmail - amazing! Domain registration - I don't know what that is, but
IT'S amazing, too! Everything's amazing! And... brilliant, innit?


GAMES:

This season,
I'll mostly be playing...
Tetris.


CALL CENTRE:

92% of calls answered within an average 20 seconds response time.

(Which is nice.)


NETWORK UPGRADES:

Have we installed our new Usenet platform, Sir? Have we? Is it in line
with our continuous policy of improvements? OH! Is it, Sir?  Do you like
the links from the Gigabit switch to the patch panel? Do you feel the firm
yet pliant RJ45 connector sliding gently into the yielding, receptive
socket? Do you? Do you REALLY, Sir?  OH! - I bet you do.

Suit YOU Sir..



--
| P. Whitehouse             http://www.plus.net.uk/
|                           http://www.f9.net.uk/
|PlusNot Technologies Ltd   http://www.force9.net/
|
 ---(NO additional material by Harry Enfield)------